organization." Samples said as he signed the t-shirt of a bewildered octogenarian.

 

Manager Wayne Hegner who has not been in contact with Samples since he received an expired 'Jam of the Month' gift certificate from him for Christmas said, "We re-signed him?  That's good I guess, we could always use another middle reliever."

 

April 2, 2005

Samples Arrives in Camp

 

Northbrook, IL- Ending a winter long contract dispute, Titans pitcher Brad (a.k.a. 'Ghetto Fabulous B-Rad Jazz') Samples arrived in Del Boca Vista on Florida's gulf coast proclaiming "Daddy's Home!"

 

Apparently, the fact that the Titans are training in Northbrook didn't seem to make an impact on the delusional pitcher who said, "But, it's much nicer down here baby!"

 

Although terms of the deal have not been announced, rumors of lavish and uncompromising demands by Samples' agent Mort Lipschitz swirled during what became

"Well, it's about friggin' time. We've been bustin' our butts all winter and now 'His Highness' shows up. Whoop - de - freakin' -do!" -Titan Outfielder Kevin Crowe

 a turbulent and often contentious negotiation between the club and the flamboyant hurler.

 

MSL Insider columnist Mike Maloney reported in February "There is speculation the Titans would rather trade Samples to the first team that came up with a bag of crap than cave in to his some of his outrageous demands."  Sources close to the negotiations indicated that Samples had demanded:

 

• To only  face teams with a .350 or lower winning percentage.
• A bowl of yellow peanut M&M's -with half the candy coating removed- be placed in front of his locker before each game with a similar bowl of decapitated Gummi Bears placed there after games.
• A club-paid three year subscription to Cat Fancy. 

 

"I'm sure my supporting cast understands that a player of my caliber has certain needs that should be met by the